Effects of Domestic Violence on Children - Part 3

FEELING

BEHAVIOR

Fear:

• of violence
  

• withdrawal or exaggerated attention-getting

• of father, sometimes all men

• negative reactions to men, male teachers

• of abandonment

• separation anxiety

• of nighttime, when violence occurred

• bedtime fears

• trauma and upheaval & loss of familiar

• school phobia

Anger:

• at father or other men

• acting out

• at mother, for not stopping the violence

• aggression, swearing

• at self, for not protecting mother

• age-appropriate temper tantrums

Guilt:

• child is ego-centric, feels responsible

• self-fulfilling prophecy

• for being disloyal to father/family

• “I'm bad, leads to
  punishment and reinforces belief

• for having negative feelings about parent(s)

• loss of motivation at school

Confusion:

• conflict over feeling towards parents

• ambivalent about behavior – loving/angry

• unpredictable reactions from adults leave - will test results
  child unable to trust

• will test results

• Belief that all relationships = violence

• confused belief system

Learning disabilities:

• lack of emotional stability at home inhibits

• unable to concentrate at school

• fixation at developmental level at which trauma occurred

• sleepy, awake at night

Survival skills:

Many of these children have survived by adapting and developing the following skills:

• strong resilience
• unusual sensitivity
• maturity
• bonds between siblings, creating a sense of protection with each other not provided by adults

• rejection of violent behavior
• well-developed sense of responsibility