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Dating ViolenceThe study on dating violence published last week by The Journal of the American Medical Association came as no surprise to those who work in the field of domestic violence. The statistics are quite similar to those released several years ago by the U.S. Department of Justice: among young people aged 14 to 24, up to 28 percent will experience an abusive relationship. Some community-based studies have even suggested the number is closer to one in three. The violence our young people are experiencing is the same pattern of power and control known as domestic violence in the adult population. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimated 22% of high school students were victims of non-sexual dating violence. While sexual assault occurred in more than 30 percent of the survey participants, we must not let the horror of that act keep us from recognizing that they occurred within the behavior patterns that constitute domestic violence, the number one health issue of women in America. A Safe Place/ Lake County Crisis Center launched aggressive efforts seven years ago to bring Prevention Education programs to middle and high school students for just such reasons: to talk to young people about healthy relationships and to alert them to dangerous warning signs of potentially abusive ones. These interactive programs focus on safety, self-esteem, power and control in relationships, appropriate expressions of anger and conflict resolution skills. Last year A Safe Place presented 42 programs in 34 middle and high schools throughout Lake County before a total of nearly 5,000 students and educators. Thousands more have viewed the dramatic one-woman presentation The Yellow Dress about teen dating violence at high schools from North Chicago to Vernon Hills to Round Lake when A Safe Place sponsored the program the last three years. Answers to post-program questionnaires at the schools are revealing. "I know a lot of friends who are in unhealthy relationships!" "Why do guys think 'put-downs' make us feel wanted?", "Why do we treat our women like this?", "I'm afraid this is going to happen to me." Adolescents need to know they have the same rights as adults in relationships. Talk to your children and let them know that in dating solutions, they should consider this: My Dating RightsI have the right to:
If your middle or high school has not scheduled our prevention education program for its students, ask them to do so. Freshman orientation or health classes where students can freely interact and ask questions are effective. A Safe Place offers programs for continuing education units (CEUs) for school educators and social workers. They learn to be alerted to the signs of abusive relationships and develop school protocols for addressing the issue. Statistically, if your child is assaulted, it is not going to be a stranger emerging from deep shadows as they walk home late at night. The name-calling, the punches, the hairpulling, the esteem-eroding behavior is going to evolve over a period of time and it is going to scar them far deeper than any physical bruises. It is going to come from someone they care about. The scars won't take any longer to heal. They'll just have them longer. It's not much different from the adult version. It's called domestic violence. Phyllis A. DeMott If you would like more information about A Safe Place and the domestic violence help services and programs we provide, please call us at 847-249-5147 or email us at info@asafeplaceforhelp.org.
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Everyone has the right to a violence-free, safe and healthy life. Copyright ©2001-2009 A Safe Place. All rights reserved. |
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